Joining You

We can be so hypercritical of ourselves - it's easy to get discouraged, depressed, all the pitfalls that we warn our friends & family against. My family & I are no different, but I do it in spades. Our family "curse" is either depression or anxiety - I got the first one. How do you fight it? Remember that you aren't the only one and that everyone has issues.

When I was 24 the darkness took over and I couldn't find any of my usual light, but my mom & sister were there to be that light for me. Once I got my proverbial crap back together I was listening to the radio and heard a song - the lyrics floored me. I keep a copy on the wall in my studio and another in my office just as a reminder to keep the head out of the anal sphincter. The young woman who authored the lyrics kindly responded to my note thanking her for inadvertently providing a hand when I needed one.

 "Joining You"Alanis Morissette

dear dar(lin') your mom (my friend) left a message on my machine she was frantic saying you were talking crazy that you wanted to do away with yourself I guess she thought I'd be a perfect resort because we've had  this inexplicable connection since our youth and yes they're in shock  they are panicked you and your chronic them and their drama you this embarrassment us in the middle of this delusion

if we were our bodies

if we were our futures

if we were our defenses

 I'd be joining you

if we were our culture

if we were our leaders

if we were our denials 

I'd be joining you

I remember vividly a day years ago we were camping you knew more than you thought you should know you said "I don't want ever to be brainwashed" and you were mind-boggling you were intense you were uncomfortable in your own skin you were thirsty but mostly you were beautiful

if we were our name-tags

if we were our rejections

if we were our outcomes 

I'd be joining you

if we were our indignities

if we were our successes

if we were our emotions 

I'd be joining you

you and I we're like 4 year olds we want to know why and how come about everything we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak our minds and never talk small and be intuitive and question mightily and find god my tortured beacon we need to find like-minded companions

if we were their condemnations

if we were their projections

if we were our paranoias 

I'd be joining you

if we were our incomes

if we were our obsession

if we were our afflictions 

I'd be joining you

we need reflection we need a really good memory feel free to call me a little more often